One afternoon, my family went to a local department store. Our trips to the dept store are usually miserable for our family but this time it was different; everyone was content. I was trying on clothes. When I stepped out of the dressing room and observed my daughter and hubby admiring the makeup display and my son (age 5) quietly sitting in a chair, my heart swelled with pride. I was in bliss.
I tried on several more outfits, stepped out of the dressing room, and gathered my family. My son came running to me with “something” in his hands. He said in a very loud voice, “Mom, put this on your pee-pee. IT FEELS GOOD!” Then, I noticed he was holding a small hand-held smiley-faced, three pronged back massager.
The store went silent. All I could hear was a soft buzz from the small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massager. The room started to spin… As I blacked out, I realized why my son was able to sit quietly in the chair for so long… But, reality hit again, as I heard my son say again, “Will you buy this for me?”
Some of the surrounding customers quickly walked away, but others stopped to enjoy the show. As my son walked towards me, he held out the small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massager in his tiny hand and tried to put it on my pee-pee. He kept saying (over and over again), “Try it. You’ll like it.”
Then my daughter tried to get in on the action. She said, “I want to try it.” But, my son was adamant that I try it. I kept slapping his little vibrating hand away, as he again attempted to thrust the massager to my pee-pee. “Try it, you’ll like it” “IT FEELS GOO-OOD!” His little voice was crystal clear. I questioned why we invested in speech therapy. What were we thinking?
My husband took hold of our daughter and headed out of the store. All the while, she shouted over her shoulder, “I want to try it” (over and over again). Hubby left me to deal with our son, the hand-held, smiley faced, three-pronged back massager and the gawking customers.
I took the small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massager away from him, turned it off and left it on a display table. As we walked away my son begged me to buy him a small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massage. He told me how much he liked it. When I said, “NO!” he cried and pitched a fit. I literally drug him out of the store, while he fought to get back his new favorite toy. I heard laughter and snickers from the gawking customers. By now, there was a crowd enjoying the show. All the way home, our son cried and our daughter pouted because we didn’t buy a small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massage.
It’s been several years since this happened. A few months ago, I turned down an aisle in our local big box store with my son. There was a large display of small, hand-held, smiley-faced, three pronged back massagers. My son pointed and said, “I’ve always wanted one of those.”
And that is my most embarrassing Mommy story.